When your mind is a mess, so is mine.

     Hm. Lots going on during the past week. Did you notice the fall/Halloween background change? :) Anyways, since I'm a busy lady and I only have approximately ten minutes to write this post in which I plan to decompress my entire week, let's do this in my favorite form of writing: THE LIST.

1. Talking About Feelings. Why do I suck at this? I am just not a talkative person when it comes to that kind of stuff. I'd rather keep it to myself. Mostly because my feelings, I think, are pretty weird. Sometimes I don't even understand them. Even though I am a friendly person who never shuts up, most of what I talk about is pretty superficial. Ask me how I'm feeling, or what I'm thinking about when I get all quiet and tense.. forget about it. Not happening. Case closed. I like being unreadable. What's the problem with that?
     2. My Daddy. Yeah, we all knew this one was coming. The ten-year anniversary of his death was Monday. Talk about tough - I didn't realize how hard it would be. I was only eleven when he died, so after this year he will have been gone longer than I knew him, and that's hard to swallow. It's unbelievable how much it can still hurt after ten years, and how I still can't think about it without getting into the biggest funk ever. It was hard being away from home, with people who care about me but never knew him. I made his favorite meal on Monday: spaghetti and meatballs. They were the worst meatballs I have ever made. That upset me. I didn't cry, but I wished I did. I sat in my shower for half an hour on Monday morning trying to force myself to cry without much luck. I guess my tear ducts don't like talking about feelings either.
     3. Grad School Is For Nerds. Um, I really need to apply to grad school. Like, yesterday. But I am freaking terrified. End of story.
     4. Save The Drama For Your Mama. I reeeeeeeeeally thought I left all the "he said-she said" drama behind when I graduated from high school. NOPE. Reality check: that stuff never dies. I was thinking today about how I can't wait to graduate and get away from this stuff, but somehow I have a feeling a diploma won't make a difference in how people treat each other and how they react to things. I really don't care about anyone else's problems. If they wanted me to know, they would tell me themselves. If they wanted my opinion, they would ask for it. We are big girls and boys. Take care of your own problems.
     5. Secrets Are Fun. I have a big surprise which is part of the reason why I have been so busy and only have had ten minutes to post in the past week. More on that in the next week or so :) Be excited. I am.
     6. Closed-Mindedness Sucks. We all recently found out that our University's lovely administration has decided that no Greek letters or memorabilia will be allowed to be anywhere on our person at our commencement ceremony this year. Excuse me? What are you going to do, not let me graduate? I earned those letters and the right to glitter glue them onto my graduation cap. Every Delta Zeta nationally wears the same pink satin sash at graduation, are you telling me I can't just because you felt like saying so? I don't think so. There is absolutely zero reasoning behind this, either. Lame. I'll hide mine under my gown and pull it out as I am walking across stage. Take that, losers :)
     7. I'm Not A Big Fan Of Fall. I am a summer girl. I love the sunshine, the green grass, the warm air, and the lazy, long days. I generally hate fall because it means that my summer days are over for awhile, but fall in the mountains changes that. It is so beautiful here. Check out this gorgeous shot taken in my backyard yesterday:

     You can't argue with that.
     And finally, just something to ponder for today:
"People are unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; be successful anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, others may be jealous; be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; give the world your best anyway. In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Teresa

xoxo-
mts

P.S. - People keep asking me.. yes you can comment even if you don't have an account. Just drop down to "Anonymous" :)