This campus is huge. An old friend from high school who is now a senior here picked me up from the airport and was pointing things out on campus. I was stunned. It's gigantic! I never really looked at huge colleges (other than NC State and UNCC, where I wound up going my first year) when I was JT's age. I wish I had. There's a lot of things I wish I had done, actually. There are a lot of things I wish JT would listen to his sissy about, but I know he won't. I wouldn't have listened when I was his age. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to do things differently.
This week I wrote a long letter to my little, who is only in her third semester of college, about all the things I hope she takes advantage of in the next few years and the lessons I have learned since I was in her shoes. Maybe this way, she won't have to learn some of those things the hard way. I wish someone had done that for me when I was her age.
I was thinking today about the Brad Paisley song "Letter To Me". It's my ringtone when JT calls my phone, actually. It made me think about all the things I would tell my seventeen-year-old self if I could. I'm not good at writing letters, but I am good at writing lists. So, here it goes:
1. Don't be afraid to do what you want. There are going to be so many things to see and try when you come to college. You had always wanted to join a sorority for as long as you could remember (well, ever since you saw Legally Blonde when you were about twelve). Yet, for some reason, when it came down to it, you was scared. You were afraid those Barbie doll women you saw in your classes at UNCC wouldn't like you or accept you. In all honesty, they probably wouldn't have. The Greek system there is so much different than the Greek system you wind up in at Western. Even still, at least you would have tried it and known. You will always wonder how different your first year experience would have been if you had tried something new, if you had gone and done something outside of going to classes and Honors College events. You participated in nothing. That probably had a lot to do with your decision to leave.
2. Listen to the advice of others, but make your own decisions. This really should be titled "It's okay to listen to other people and try to make them happy, but you will never make everyone happy and sometimes you won't make anyone but yourself happy, but that's okay." That's a really long freakin' title though. Really, you will never please everyone. Sometimes, you won't please anyone. It's okay. Let it go. No one knows you as well as you know yourself, and no one knows what's best for you like you do. Go with that. If it's the right decision for you, others will eventually come to accept it. And if they don't? Forget them.
3. Being single is okay. Please, please, please don't feel like you need a boyfriend to make you whole. You don't. Eventually you spend two years on your own and figure that out. You were always the most stubborn, independent wild child when you were a kid. Don't lose that. Don't lose yourself for some stupid guy. The right one will come along eventually, and I promise you it will not be when you are desperately worrying about the fact that you don't want to be single. Enjoy it. I think they were the best years of your life.
4. Broken hearts really do heal. Oh, young love. Who DIDN'T think they were going to stay with their high school sweethearts forever? Of course, we all did. Sometimes it happens, but most of the time it doesn't. It's okay. You will know what broken hearts feel like. By the time you hit 21, you will have had plenty of them and a few that were doozies. You will have been through the whole "I am going to lie in bed and cry for three weeks and I don't care what anyone says because my life is over and I will never be happy ever again" thing. It feels like you are going to die. Physically, literally, die. I promise, you won't. I promise, time heals most anything. I promise, you will be happier without him than you were with him.
5. You are the youngest you will ever be for the rest of your life right now. Right now, as I am writing this letter, I am your 21-and-a-half year old self. I would give anything to go back to being you, my seventeen-year-old self. You really have so much going for you and all the time in the world. Don't waste the next four years. You'll never get them back. Life is a one-way street, baby, and there are no do-overs. Live it right.
6. Opportunities don't come back. Take them when you can. Don't be afraid to talk to the cute guy in line at the bookstore or go to IHOP at midnight with friends when you have a test the next morning. You will never get that time back. You will never remember the hours you spent studying and in the end, as long as you aren't a complete slacker, no one cares about your GPA. You will remember, however, the time you spent with friends, the nights you laughed until you cried, and how it felt to not worry about a thing. Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. Just go with it.
7. It's okay to ask for help. Everyone gets it. You can do it on your own. You can do anything, really, if you put your mind to it. But it doesn't make you a weaker person to ask for help. I promise.
8. Your life is amazing. Really. You get just about everything you ever wanted by the time you are 21. But you don't get it until you learn to let go, enjoy life, and not worry so much. You're always gonna worry. You are Peewee's granddaughter, after all. But maybe try to let go of that a little bit. Enjoy the ride, because you will look back on your life and realize how blessed you are. I can't wait for you to meet your sorority sisters. You are going to love them with everything you have, and learn what it is like to be able to trust people. You get really close with your brother. It's incredible. You get a really cute puppy. And a really sweet boyfriend (and you didn't find him when you were looking for him, really). You still get really good grades even when you go out on weeknights and live like you're dying on the weekends. So go ahead and start doing all that now. The next four years are going to be a roller coaster. I can tell you that. But it's a beautiful ride.
xoxo-
mts
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